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RESISTING CONTROL

You can preserve your energy with controlling people

I found a blog by S. Newman and decided to add to it, from my experience treating clients and providing an avenue for mental and emotional healing. This Blog in about “control” and how to maintain your energy.

The need to control others may not make a lot of sense to you. If you’re a live-and-let-live person, you’d never want to control someone else. Even if you’re a perfectionist, you stay on your own case all day, not necessarily someone else’s.

But controllers are out there. They want to micromanage what you say, how you act, even what you think quietly in your own mind. This is how they get their energy – they take yours. It could be your boss, your spouse, or even your parent. You can’t be yourself around them. They insist on being your top priority and want undue influence over your life.

There are plenty of theories why someone would want to control you. One is that people who can’t control themselves turn to controlling others. This happens on an emotional level. A person full of insecurities has to extract a positive sense of self from other people because their self esteem is too low to do it for themselves.

Maybe people control because they are afraid of being abandoned. They don’t feel secure in their relationships and are often testing to see if they’re about to be betrayed. The paradox is that their behavior creates exactly what they fear the most.

A lot of the time, Controlling people are souls that can only get their energy from 3rd dimension. This means that these souls are people who are narcissistic, looking to control their environment by any means necessary and possible. They only get energy from their immediate environment and people in it. This would mean that people are pawns and avenues to get energy. They’re useful tools in the narcissist’s world to be used as he or she pleases and to get energy from. It’s nothing personal — you’re just a good pawn. The problem with this perspective is that souls that choose to get energy from 3rd dimension only, often bullies, make us wonder, “Why me?” If it’s really nothing personal, “Why do I feel like a target?”, “why am I questioning my self worth?”

They often push your buttons to get an emotional reaction out of you because they want to exploit it as weakness and get you thinking about them. THOUGHT is energy. They have no respect for you or your boundaries and will test every single boundary that you implement. They will take every opportunity to debate, to argue, to disagree so that you react and feed their depleted energy buckets.

With these people you need to NOT give them THOUGHT. Thought is energy. Clear energetic boundaries are needed. No thought about them, about their plights and dramas, about what they say or do. What comes out of their mouths is subconsciously about them. Distract yourself and think about something else, do something else, don’t put yourself in their company.

The simplest reason why you feel targeted is that you’re a good, admirable light filled person. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t have a target on your back, and you don’t deserve to be disrespected. You are soul that is able to get energy from various levels and dimensions of the universe and not just from your immediate environment. It may sound like a radical concept, but what the controller wants is what you’ve got: They want your energy as theirs are depleted and they cannot access greater source energy.

• You’re able to feel good about yourself consistently and without constant reminders from the outside world that you’re worthy.
• You’re secure in your accomplishments, your status, and your overall place in life.
• Your attention/thought makes other people feel good and heard.
• You can feel good about other people’s success — you’re not intimidated by others good fortune.

Given all those things, you know you deserve respect, but a controlling person is too intimidated to give it to you. They feel they must cut you down to size. It’s the only way they can tolerate being around you.

While there’s definitely an explanation for why the controller is the way they are, it doesn’t matter.

It’s time to reclaim your power and focus on your own needs. This means setting steadfast boundaries and keeping the controller from stepping foot on the other side. Decide what you’re no longer willing to sacrifice.

Some examples include:

• No longer be made to feel like your ideas and contributions don’t matter.
• Not letting a controller belittle your accomplishments and talk down to you.
• Not allowing anyone to push your buttons.
• Not willing not sacrifice your own needs for this person.
• No longer jumping when they say JUMP – ring them back when you are ready and not when they are trying to get your attention.
• No longer tolerating their methods of control eg: if they are always late, or cancelling or changing appointments - this is a method of control – controlling your time
• Not allowing them to leave you out or manipulate a situation where they look like a mater.

The controller has been the beneficiary of your good will for too long. Now it’s time to put that in your own corner. It’s about self-preservation, and you’ll know when you’re doing it right because you won’t feel like a target anymore. You wont be drained from their company.

Retain your light – remain neutral – don’t THINK about them – JUST OBSERVE. Here are some tips from Ross Rosenberg.

Lastly, while you are becoming an expert of how to deal with souls that only get access to energy from the environment, you can top up your energy through some of the following methods:
Meditation, Exercise, Nature, Music, Crystals, Prayer, Animals, and BREATH.